Hmm...

Dreams and Fears

2011-05-18T06:28:00.000-07:00

Dreams is such a wonderful thing isn't it? u can just use ur imagination to think what u can become if it happens. But then again, what if it just never happens, because u fear what might happen along the way?

1)i used to dream about being an actor, then i was scared i couldn't cut it cuz i don look good enuf, what if i get paid too little, i suck at memorizing scripts and such...

2)then i though of being an animal trainer, once again i had to let it go because i was afraid of the pay and of course due to expectations from my family.

3)last year, i thought of becoming a biologist. then i gave it up simply because there just isn't much job opportunities in M'sia.

Why is it that we live in a world that revolves so much around Money and Reputation? See what i ended up with now just because i had to balance around job opportunities and how would ppl look at me?

Engineering- the most unexpected sector that i would venture into. i was never a person who liked maths nor physics, i loved the wildlife, i loved going into Mother Nature and just relax, enjoy how wonderful the world is. i wanted a job which would let me do that. but now, i'm stuck with being in an industry which i'm forever stuck inside an industrial compound/area.

How have i deviated so far away from my original dreams? i guess its obvious enough because i wasn't courageous enuf to go into something i like just because i wanna live up to ppl's expectations, not mine.

It actually feels kinda sick sometime, whereby i hafta hide all my emotions from the world, yes i noe i'm not the only one doing that, but this only means that i understand some of u ppl out there who are afraid to show ppl how u feel.

I thank God for creating such an opportunity this year to meet such a wonderful person, she's the only thing that's keeping me alive, sort of like the life support machine for me. if not for her, i don think i might even wanna continue going on this tough journey.
Life is so peaceful when i'm with her, my worries are like gone whenever i get to spend time together. i dunno what might happen in the future between us, but now is all that matters for me.

The future for me now is uncertain, but i dare say i would love to continue walking on this rocky path with God alongside me, i pray that i might be able to work this out and hopefully, accomplish some good results for my parents to be proud of.

EXAMS,SCHOOL LIFE,MUSIC,THOUGHTS

2009-10-26T06:05:00.001-07:00

been bloody long since i've updated~
so here it goes ;) hope i still have the touch ahah~

[E]XAMS~

got back most of my papers,well i have to say i'm surprised for some subjects,
for the first time in my life i got 91 for maths so yea hahahah!!
but then it all keeps falling down baby...
some were just ridiculous man but overall i felt at least i've earned it with my own hardwork

SPM is coming...so what am i doing?apparently i'm still wasting most of my time browing the web and stuffs..trying to quit most of the stuffs by this week(wish me luck peeps)
seriously hope i can get at least 7As because i don wanna let my family and relatives down,TONS OF PRESSURE HOORAH!

SCHOOL LIFE~

hmm...been doing much at school lately,
tryin to do as much things as possible(breaking or not breaking rules)
so that i'm not gonna regret after i've graduated...
some ppl i can't bear to leave,how i wish i could just pull them with me :X
teachers,frens...what have i done to make them rmb me?or shud i make them forget me?
got no idea man~but hope that most of us will still be in contact after this...

someone quotes "frens are forever while puppy lovers are only momentarily"
will that be true?lets hope all's well ends well~

i quote "separated we may be,hearts and soul we'll be connected" hehe~
hope it sounds logical though!

heard from so many ppl that they wanna get the hell out of the school,but trust me,
once u're gonna graduate,u'll start reminiscing bout how u entered the school and how u met all ur best frens :(

MUSIC~

music is definitely one of the factors that just keeps me going on,
music brings [E]veryone from [E]verywhere together and just let their feelings out...
been listening to Epik High alot lately,i may not understand korean but some of their songs i do reli feel what they might be trying to express,and that's y i've been so supportive of their music~

DJ Tukutz's gonna be servicing in the army for about 2 years,not gonna be a new album from them for another 2 years i guess? :(

English songs have been becoming much more meaningless to me,the songs they have are just too commercialized,too boring

THOUGHTS~
[E]verything we have(parents,relatives,frens,pets,materialistic items) we shall be grateful,for it is given by the Almighty...

[E]motions,are something that can be expressed through songs,music,words...
i always do listen to songs that are in tune with my mood at the time..

[E]xpressions,i've been trying to conjure up images of happiness on my face,but is it reli what i'm feeling?i don't noe,i don't care,i just wanna spend the last of my school life with my frens and let there be a happy memory,nothing more~

[E]mpty...sometimes we want alot of things,but what do we want it for?to show off?to fulfill our desire?that's just fucked up man...
greed is like a devil,the more u want something,the more empty u get even if u obtain what u want...

THE [E]ND~

for everyone out there,just be who u want to be ;)

Futsal + Fun in Tmn U!

2009-08-16T05:43:00.000-07:00

so,saturday...
had futsal with the usual gang at city plaza again~

was fun but then i kept eating ice cream only :D
after finishing,yongen thye me n bin ken went to sit taxi and meet up with sek they all at leisure mall~thn i saw an indian dude selling PUTU MAYAM!so of course i bought it then ate it :D

after eating MEE HUN KUEY,
we went ks to play for awhile,but all i actually did was just play facebook haha
near evening we went to mcdonald's,and i ate ice cream again ==
by 8pm we sat sek's car and went to tmn u to eat steamboat!
there we met karsiang n awyong who joined us~

the food was good and they had special offer so it was kinda cheap~(hurray)!
after makan-ing we went to U MALL to watch G.I.JOE~
IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!not to mention the freakin hot girls :D
it's definitely a must watch to u all =)

about 12.45 something midnight,we went to have mamak~(yea we ate again)
karsiang's first time eating maggie mee goreng hahaha
it was tata time after we finished eating,few of us went with sek to his house while binken+yongen stayed at karsiang's hse

by sleep time,it was basically joking time for me and junyi kekekekek
we talked about music,girls,interests and funny things
we also bullied pei er's DA TOU :D

next morning~
i woke up finding that my blankie was stolen by sek and zhen hui T.T
bloody cold luckily i stole some of junyi's hahahahahaha~
11am++ we all bathed and changed~
then,sek's mum treated us to bak kut teh~
after that we all went to BOON HWA primary school
there was this event to help the school raise fun,
it was my first time touching real weapons! hahaha
took quite a number of photos

about 3pm we headed to some shop near sek's house to MAKAN again!
hahaha been eating so much since we've been there ==
then went gaming again,where we won against sek's team wahhahaha...

6pm,it was bye bye for us and me,zh,es,junyi sat taxi to cs~
the trip was so long,the uncle kept talking bout certain sensitive issues i can't say XD

that was all!
now,for the other random pics

birthday!

2009-08-09T09:54:00.001-07:00

ok so it was my bday,
woke up early in the morning,went to school for eca...
some kid behind me was damn noisy make me can't slp ~.~

cookery was ook although i smelled like butter whn i finished ==
reached home bout 12.30,
after bathing then went to have western cuisine with mum~yum :D

then i headed to city plaza with binken,elisha,yongen and vic
wanted to buy the putu mayam but then no small change so damn it hah
futsal was funny because wee thye injured his leg then lied on the floor so cute hahahahaha!
first time in my history of playing futsal i scored 2 goals! wahaha~
another first time in my life was bathing with a hose in the toilet =X

k so about 6 we went back to molek to eat hoho steamboat~
wasn't reli full however wanted to bring them mamak but then no time edi cuz sek wanted to go back earlier...
plus they secretly went to buy cake for me =)
then we went to yongen's house to cut the cake!
have to say it's actually been a superb long time since i've cut a cake heheh

me and kenneth :)

the cake,with a small part of banling's hand

fortunately,i didn't get thrown into the pool so yea thank you bros for not throwing me haha
so after eating cake we sang karaoke in the room~
yongen's mum even bought us kfc(thanks auntie)!

then after that,we went outside,tried out the manual kancil
kheng huat was the instructor of the day!amazingly the engine only died once hehehe
shortly after me,eesiong n kheng huat each drove our car to go for few rounds around the area,
yongseng in his motorcycle almost knocked into me! =(

about 12,ken's car finally came and i drove jm,bear n handsome junyi back to my home to sit taxi~
and so that was the night!

just wanna specially thank these people once again for celebrating my bday with me! love u all !
P.S tell me if i left out anyone =X

BROTHERS:sek,binken,karsiang,thye,eesiong,yongseng,elisha,vic,shyh haur,junyi,jianming,yongen,yongyeow,aiksing n not forgetting kenneth who sacrificed his undang test for me!

GIRLS:jomin,banling,florence,peier,zhen wei

random shots

3 days of mayhem =)

2009-06-29T05:28:00.000-07:00

27/6/09(saturday)
went to school in the morning as usual,
learnt to bake cake xD
was pretty lucky cuz didn't ponteng the class and get caught as a result...
few of them did however.
but then this wasn't reli important so yea,skip~

night,slightly cleaned my room as kenneth was coming to stay for the nite
he came around 8.30,went to play the computer straight away rofl
then after i bathed we called bin ken to mamak stall for late dinner,
felt bored so i drove them around molek for awhile...
went home to watch tv and took turns playing dota with kenneth haha
slept quite late around 3 o.0

28/6/09(sunday)
woke up in the morning at 9++
the reason i woke up was i kena "sexually assaulted" by kenneth =S
as usual,went directly to the computer wahahaha
kinda confused that day,deciding whether to go tasek or cs to watch transformers,
in the end we went to cs because didn't wanna waste money on lousy sound systems at tasek ==

went cs 'round afternoon,bought tickets and went cs for tea-time
kar siang decided to join us too!he so brother sia...
THE MOVIE WAS EPIC!!
great movie with superb sound and graphic effects~
but thn i went toilet like 2 times zz
karsiang drove us home so i could pack up n stay at his hse,
thn we headed to Tmn U for supper,
karsiang paid for most of the thing =)
shall pay for him when he comes nxt time aha...
stayed at his hse for that night~

29/6/09(monday,hari hol)

(at karsiang's hse,check out my phone's effect on the mirror )

woke up at 7,bathed n sat karsiang's car to fetch peiqie n kenneth...
was late because delayed everything wahhahahahha
reached larkin around 9,wasn't allowed to go in the stadium by some fuckin "caretaker" haix
so we went to yum cha instead....

(kenneth's saki hair!!)

NOON,paintball arena
15 of us gathered then play lo,
wee thye quite bro to specially come!!(happy ma thye i praise u)
kinda fun la but isn't reli great to get hurt =.=
used up my bullet damn fast cuz i went trigger happy xD
overall it was a gd experience
but thn some fucked up thing happened,
some "PEOPLE" somehow forgotten to tell me they were going to cs,
yea i noe i'm forgettable but then come on la have the courtesy to inform me la,
bloody pissed of that time..
oh well i went with ken and shyh haur to find sek n others...
went karaoke for awhile thn had dinner at old town,the fried chicken smaller n smaller wtf,
after tht i went home via taxi...
the driver looked pretty kns at first,talk like so fed up wit somethg
at last he actually damn kind he asked me for less =)
mayb cuz i looked so tired =P
that's my 3 day of madness+fun xD

One More Time by Tree Bicycle

2009-06-07T06:29:00.000-07:00

하루가 너무나 这一天太漫长
더디고 너무 힘들다 过得太慢好辛苦
내 마음을 다 보이려해도 想向你诉说心情
그대 볼 수가 없어서 不愿就此分离
난 그저 지나간 我只是在抱怨
시간을 원망하고있어 一分一秒流逝着的时间
또 계절이 또 바뀌어가도 看着不断变换的季节
나는 여전히 슬퍼 我还在伤心

One more time
아파도 조금 더 사랑을 할걸 即使受伤也不后悔爱过
너만을 위해 웃고 너만을 위해 울게 让我只为你微笑只为你哭泣

One more time
저 하늘 뜨거운 태양 처럼 像那天空中炙热的太阳一样
영원히 너의 모든 걸 사랑해 오직 너만을 永远爱着你的全部只爱你
One more time

우산 속 다정한 니 모습 너무나 그립다 想念你在雨伞中温柔的样子
이 눈물을 또 닦아보지만 나는 여전히 슬퍼 反复擦着眼泪还是觉得伤悲

One more time
아파도 조금 더 사랑을 할걸 即使受伤也不后悔爱过
너만을 위해 웃고 너만을 위해 울게 让我只为你微笑只为你哭泣

One more time
밤 하늘 빛나는 별 빛 처럼 像那天空中炙热的太阳一样
저 하늘 뜨거운 태양 처럼 像那天空中炙热的太阳一样
영원히 너의 모든 걸 사랑해 오직 너만을 永远爱着你的全部只爱你
One more time

우리에게 같은 내일이 찾아오기를 약속해 希望我们有相同的明天
우리에게 같은 행복이 찾아오기를 약속해 希望我们有一样的幸福
언제나 곁에 있을게
Oh my love for you
Oh One more time
Oh my love for you
One more time

搞笑-罗志祥

2009-05-29T11:05:00.000-07:00

那一条牙膏在对我傻笑
嘲笑我永远用不掉
想睡就睡想闹就闹
好快乐少了人捞叨

蓝色的碗盘多买了一套
我忘了没人陪我通霄
要多少替代的丑角无辜的陪笑
才会让我能真的忘了你的好

我在搞笑借着热闹掩盖着心跳
边哭边笑偏要说着一个人真好
当人群散了突然觉得我可以死掉
我受不了

还在搞笑害怕回家不知怎么熬
这么多年早就喜欢有你的撒娇
我想我能熬但是至少要让我知道
你好不好

我们的小狗食量变好小
眼神里常常显得无聊
他习惯睡觉的床位少了一双脚
所以他常常看着门口睡不着

我在搞笑借着热闹掩盖着心跳
边哭边笑偏要说着一个人真好
当人群散了突然觉得我可以死掉
我受不了

我在搞笑却在最后眼泪拼命掉
你的离开失去多少我计算不了
忙完了一天突然觉得又何必辛劳
对谁炫耀

还在搞笑是否拥有麻痹的疗效
唱一夜歌却避不开催泪的曲调
我彻夜胡闹希望听到有人会提到
你好不好

everytime i hear this song,it touches me,occasionally to the brink of crying
perhaps,this is what i'm experiencing now?"我在搞笑借着热闹掩盖着心跳"
yes,the me now has changed,i think all of u who know me since form 1 should know.
from the quiet me,to the type who fools around and like to just keep doing funny things...
is it to hide the sorrow within?i don't know,
but everytime i go home,i feel empty...like a clown?maybe,
but always whn i return home,it's as if my house is just a place for me to stay,there's no one,only me,who can i talk to?nobody...
most of u won't understand y,but some ppl closer i've told what happened...

n thn some of u may think that i like to simply woo every girl,
but do i?do u ppl actually see me goin everywhere,"scattering my love"?
there's only one person i'm serious abt,
i think i'll keep that person's identity a secret however...
do YOU noe how much i yearn for u?no i think u don't,
but then i'm nt gonna force u to love me or anything,cuz i noe u've said we're not meant to be,so i won't force u to do anything either...

but then,i just wish to c tat u're fine,alright?
i'll be thr if u nid me,and u have my word on that...
if u hv anger or any feelings u wanna let out,i hope i can be a person whom u trust to speak to too.remember,i can always lend u a ear or two

Recent stuffs+music

2009-05-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

well well well....
apparently bunch of things popped up this week...
think most of u who are reading should noe what i'm talking about~

so erm...perhaps it's cuz of misunderstanding?
who's really in the wrong i dunno nor do i wanna know.
we're supposed to be in the circle man!
so yea it was supposed to be a joke but now it's become really big,
and BIG meaning World War type of big....perhaps we've gone too far?

sometimes i dunno what to do either,
i feel like not doing anything but then both sides i gotta help,
but then let me ask u,WHAT THE FUCK am i supposed to do?
by helping either side i'm adding fuel to fire on the other side...
any suggestions?don think even the wisest ppl have the answer~

in the end,music is the one that always soothes my mood,
it's like a refuge for me to just stop everything and relax...
by listening and singing(i don't reli sound gd though XD),
i get to just forget everything momentarily...

yea,so i just wanna advise everybody to just listen to more music haha...
some songs have deeper meanings,so try and understand the songs...it might even help u think better in certain aspects too =)
so for the current situation i recommend a sentence from "I Just Wanna Live" by Good Charlotte
"I just wanna live,Don't really care about the things that they say"

that's all the thing i can think for now !

Article of Clarification =D

2009-05-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

with regards to http://youngaw.blogspot.com/2009/05/what-i-did-again.html

i,JJ,hereby declare anything previously written about the 2 persons concerned are invalid and not necessary true.Thereby i wish to apologize to the parties involved and take back statements said earlier.

=)

Homecooked Food(random)

2009-05-27T00:58:00.000-07:00

been havin alot of outside food lately,
starting to miss all the food my mum used to cook in the past =(

chances of her cooking are getting fewer n fewer...
mum only cooks like 3 times per week

so yea...apparently i'm getting less healthier lol,
all the salt n oil n fats~damn!
used to love outside food alot whn i was young haha..
now i eat outside food almost everyday,starting to get bored of it haiz

always we wanna have something,but whn we get alot of it then we hate it,
that's human instinct?
now only i know how to appreciate my mum's cooking,
it's so healthy yet so tasty...but what can i do?
regretting isn't an option now...
can only blame myself for not cherishing it the last time

what i can only do now is to wait for the time tat my mum cooks lol...

that's all the random-ness for now~ XD

school day ;)

2009-05-26T01:42:00.000-07:00

this is gonna be short~

so i went to school today,
had breakfast(tempted by yongseng)

started a series of lessons as usual~

RECESS!
few of us tried to aluba ee siong....failed
then we went to have our food again...
tried to bring es back to class asap but was delayed by the VPs
we joked a little with mr ang,
then brought es back to our class~
time to work =)
i was trying to hold es's head down

then wat the fuck he go and bite my hand ==
damn deep lol the mark @@
but nevertheless he still kena XD

so after that back to peace once again :)
maths lesson~thye and bear kena scolded for nth haha
thye was innocent though o.0

now back at home,just finished setting up my new modem~
didn't make much difference to my internet speed lol...
SO FUCK YOU STREAMYX! =D
that's all folks,bye~

ES's BIRTHDAY BASH

2009-05-24T04:45:00.000-07:00

well well well....
saturday,rested for awhile after coming back from eca.
went to leisure mall by taxi 'bout 4pm++
actually wanted to watch movie in cs with kenneth earlier but cancelled cuz he decided to folo mum at 5

oh well,reached leisure mall...
apparently sek,ym n kh arrived there at the same time but they had to walk from the taxi stand =D

so we played bowling,lost to es by 3 points ==
maybe he got the power of love so improved alot XD
no idea y everytime i ply i hv to cut my finger lol

we gathered n went to es hse at 7...
finally we saw fong qun after so long =3
she is much prettier but ain't much taller haha
thn we sang karaoke for awhile
emo-ers at the k-room = junyi n serene tan
damn quiet lol both of them
yongen however was kinda happy that night n i think everybody noes y

CAKE CUTTING TIME!!
our bday boy ee siong's happiest moment i suppose :D
finally after much persuasion he got to take a pic with "YOU KNOW WHO"
too bad i don have it~
even es's mum n dad also accept HER as their daughter-in-law hahahahhahaha
he didn't nid to wish for anything anymore cuz edi fulfilled ^^

after that fongqun,layhuat n the kota tinggi ppl went back...
so we went gaming...so funny to see kenneth n sek playing football
after midnight,most of the guys went home,
left me n kenneth for the night...
we however,didn't slp so early~
continued playing n talking till 3am be4 slping

next morning,woke up at 9 ==
watched Love Matters(the jack neo movie) wif es's com
2 of them woke up at abt 12 o.0
es's mum dabao lunch for us
after finishing then we played for awhile more be4 i called my taxi n go home xD

sport+japanese buffet dinner

2009-05-01T08:37:00.000-07:00

early in the morning(11am)...
went to jusco to wait for kenneth,
his parents damn kind always fetch me xD
went to kota tinggi~

after arriving,oni managed to play bout 30 mins of game lol
went to basketball court short after...
blablabla~

went back to town at 4,had lunch at sentosa,food was acceptable
then went to ys's house to bath and read comic,
he had some "INTERESTING" comics lol
check out ah huat reading

our stuffs,damn messy xD...

erm,proceeded to leisure mall at about 5.30...
went to c jomin and peier bowling,jo min won in the end~
nth much special after =P

thn we went to Don Sushi~
sek,kenneth,peier n jomin paid 1 dollar less than us for taxi but walked so much further than us ahahahahahah
that was whr the fun began :D
did alot of bansha-ing there,think we were the noisiest @@
here are the pics =D

(ice stick is like the best thing lol)

(jomin serving salmon!!)

(our combo plate @@)

(take 2)

(4 mins later~)

(es still enjoying his ice cream)

we finished at about 9,or so i think~
walked back to es's house,sang with the others all the way haha...
was fun to c es so afraid of dogs ==
sek go and kacao the other ppl at the playground lol

played smackdown on ps1,kinda lousy the way i played ~>~
went home at 11....that's pretty much about it xD
till nxt time!

KENNETH is the MAN!

2009-04-29T00:28:00.000-07:00

today was class photo day~
had a real funny morning,wee thye got scolded by 2 teachers simultaneously ==
recess was da same,fan yong tried to "liao" our yong seng daikor's fo =(
we let him go anyways lol

after recess,lined up near the open deck,waiting for our turn for the photo taking :)
was damn hot!
then we found out we didn't get a chance to strike a free pose,which was sad

BUT THEN!
after photo session,guys(excluding me n few others) in the class played the follow me game
details are not important,but there was something damn cool~
kenneth lost and had to say I LOVE YOU to that weirdo stephanie XD
he did it in a super cool way lol,RESPECT to u kenneth!

though he did it,he is kinda speechless till now(c his msn pm)
what a great way to end the day ahahahahaahah.....
once again,KENNETH YOU THE MAN!!

Blog Opener =D

2009-04-28T01:06:00.000-07:00

can't c the words on my shirt cuz i used mirror xD

hmmm......
no idea wth to say right now cuz just started blogspot for fun ==
probably gonna just leave it empty for quite a long time be4 i blog again :D

today was fun,usual bansha and stuff~
solved one very diao de maths question with bear they all lol
weethye showed us some very special "poses" ;-)

basically the whole day was relaxing,
but havin tuition tonight n i haven done my homework =( wish me luck!

btw,just a question for every1 reading~
no offense to anyone xD
any comments about girls who flirt around and have no self-respect?
i think they're shit =(