Thoughts.

Late nights like these are so beautiful. Only you, and yourself.

This is why I love the night. So quiet, so peaceful. Slowly, you just start thinking about everything that has happened in your life, and also what you wish would happen. People will never understand you fully. Because all they see are the emotions you wish to portray for them to believe how you're feeling, and they don't really care much anyway.

Couldn't sleep last night, you're starting to appear more frequently in my thoughts. Could this be it?

I never liked to feel anything towards anybody. Call me an idiot or just stupid. But i never liked feelings, it makes you feel so vulnerable. Because when you like someone, everything that person does is gonna affect you in a way. Plus, you get jealous over stuffs that person does with someone else. you become afraid of saying anything wrong, so you end up not even speaking, for fear of spoiling it all.

They tell me, "love is a wonderful thing between 2 person". Yes it is wonderful, but what about the pain, the hurt, the shear in your heart that it creates when things don't go as planned?

Maybe I do like you now, but I can't promise it'll be as intense as time goes by, will you still be able to hold on through with me? I'm not perfect, nobody is, but what if there is someone closer to perfection for you? Can you say your heart wouldn't waver that slight bit?

Call me inexperienced, call me heartless. But that's all because of what I've been through. The past shaped me into what i am now. I've grown to not trust my feelings. Hence why I chose to be a loner, because at the end of the day, only i can clean up my own shit.

Yet now, you're making me thinking about changing my mind. Or am I taking your actions wrongly? I think I like you, but will it be worth changing all the value that I believe in? Gimme a sign, and i'll take 10 thousand steps towards you. Will you be the one to pull me out of this mess i'm in? Because at the end of the day, i'm just afraid of letting my emotions crash all the way down again.

Will You Be.... My Reason?

Ayaka - Why

Lyrics: "Your inner eye has clouded over so much that it's impossible for you to see. Does any emotion still reside within the depths of your heart? Having the entire world at your fingertips, Is that what you consider happiness? Why? Why do look up into the lonely heavens? Why? Can't you laugh a little?* I understand this character of yours This disposition that is incapable of putting anything into words. What was it that came to be in your sequestered past? These eyes of yours, they refuse to meet the world. All alone with only the lonely night to cradle you, Is this the warmth that you have come to know? Why? Why are you so concerned with the way you look? Why? Can you not open up your heart a little? You've been taxed by this heavy burden for so long, It's time that you learn to accept yourself. Have more faith in yourself... It is those who are free that are stumbling... It is those who are free that are insecure... Why? Why do you look up at the lonely sky? Why? Can you not laugh, even slightly? I can appreciate This reticent character of yours. You only have to try to believe... Why... ?"