Dreams and Fears

Dreams is such a wonderful thing isn't it? u can just use ur imagination to think what u can become if it happens. But then again, what if it just never happens, because u fear what might happen along the way?

1)i used to dream about being an actor, then i was scared i couldn't cut it cuz i don look good enuf, what if i get paid too little, i suck at memorizing scripts and such...

2)then i though of being an animal trainer, once again i had to let it go because i was afraid of the pay and of course due to expectations from my family.

3)last year, i thought of becoming a biologist. then i gave it up simply because there just isn't much job opportunities in M'sia.

Why is it that we live in a world that revolves so much around Money and Reputation? See what i ended up with now just because i had to balance around job opportunities and how would ppl look at me?





Engineering- the most unexpected sector that i would venture into. i was never a person who liked maths nor physics, i loved the wildlife, i loved going into Mother Nature and just relax, enjoy how wonderful the world is. i wanted a job which would let me do that. but now, i'm stuck with being in an industry which i'm forever stuck inside an industrial compound/area.


How have i deviated so far away from my original dreams? i guess its obvious enough because i wasn't courageous enuf to go into something i like just because i wanna live up to ppl's expectations, not mine.

It actually feels kinda sick sometime, whereby i hafta hide all my emotions from the world, yes i noe i'm not the only one doing that, but this only means that i understand some of u ppl out there who are afraid to show ppl how u feel.

I thank God for creating such an opportunity this year to meet such a wonderful person, she's the only thing that's keeping me alive, sort of like the life support machine for me. if not for her, i don think i might even wanna continue going on this tough journey.
Life is so peaceful when i'm with her, my worries are like gone whenever i get to spend time together. i dunno what might happen in the future between us, but now is all that matters for me.



The future for me now is uncertain, but i dare say i would love to continue walking on this rocky path with God alongside me, i pray that i might be able to work this out and hopefully, accomplish some good results for my parents to be proud of.